My wife is from West Virginia & I am from California. My wife likes 2 story homes & I like ranches. My wife is an introvert & I am an extrovert. My wife is a Vegetarian & I am not.I could go on and on...but I won't.
Truth is the things that make us different are in many ways the things that keep us grounded in being whole individuals and not some sort of mash-up couple that likes all the same things, listens to the same music, and dresses alike. When I do premarital counseling this is always something I make sure to mention. When two people fall in love they (hopefully) do so because they have grown to love that individual person who will become their wife/husband. What a disservice it would be for Mary to start loosing Tim's Tim-"ness" and visa-versa yet this is exactly what happens in many strong relationships. In order for healthy relationships to form individuality must be celebrated and respected.
This maxim of respected difference and individuality has significantly farther reaching application that just marriage. Respecting difference and individuality is at the cornerstone of how relationships and community are formed and maintained. At churches all across this nation and beyond, community often looks a whole lot like a dozen eggs - all the same - and homogeneity means very few awkward moments when differences comes to light. Yet we can be homogeneous in spirit and diverse in a myriad of other ways if we can do the hard work of welcoming diversity of many kinds (economic, theological, etc.) with respect, celebration, and reverence for the individuality that they bring to the community.
Now comes the Million Dollar question...How do we do this?
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